Let this be a lesson to anyone who is thinking of buying an Audi!
I emailed this to them nearly a week ago, having raised the alarm with them on Twitter, and all they do is send me Twitter messages asking me to DM them.
Given that they are clearly unwilling to do their job, I will simply share my recent experience with anyone bored enough with their life to read my blog.
Email to Audi Customer Service - the use of the word Service in their name is clearly ironic and some very dark Teutonic humour!
"Last Friday I phoned Audi Maidstone as my car, after just a five
thousand mile interval since Audi Watford filled it up, needed Ad
Blue.
Upon getting through to Audi Maidstone (AM) I explained the situation and was told with a great deal of confidence "Don't you worry Mr Martin, pop in any time and we'll fill you up like a kipper". Rather stupidly I didn't question this fact and simply enquired as to opening times.
AM open at 8 by the way.
I could not make 8 as I was due to have my hairs cut that morning but did get there for roughly 08:45.
I introduced myself at reception and was told to take a seat and someone would be there to help me shortly.
BTW. To the designers of your seating, seats without backs are not funny, they may look cool but they are dreadful to sit on!
So I sat, and then I sat some more.
All the while the reception people were desperately offering me coffee or in fact any type of beverage I could think of.
This may come as a surprise to the people at Audi, but if I want a cup of coffee I go, typically, to a coffee shop such as Caffe Nero. In the same vein I would not consider taking my Audi to Caffe Nero for a service, though I suspect they'd do a better job.
Turning down "free" coffee would appear to be the equivalent of kicking a puppy to death to the AM people, they were truly astonished that poor service could not be fixed by a cup of coffee.
Eventually I was greeted by a beaming reception person who grandly announced that it was my turn to "be seen".
Needless to say, I was a tad grumpy by this stage as what I ought to have been doing was going to Bluewater with Mrs Martin and my daughter to choose and then buy an iCandy pram/pushchair combination in anticipation of the arrival of my first grandson.
What I was actually doing was getting the runaround from the AM people - the human equivalent of being in a phone queue where my call is important, but not so important that it actually gets answered.
So service chappie then instructs me to sit in front of him (I understand the psychology of this and will not fall for it, besides I've been sitting for an age in the hilarious chairs already) and I decline and stand stating very clearly that "there's no need to sit as all I need is some Ad Blue".
"Certainly sir" says chappie, "let's see when we can get you booked in!"
"Sorry?" I said, "Booked in? I was told by reception than this was a drive by and that you'd do it in the spot"
"Oh no", says chappie (with a knowing grin), "No, no no, we'll get you booked in in no time"
"Look mate" I said, "I'm not here to get booked in, I need to get filled up, pay up and then clear off, I simply don't have the time to waste"
Chappie then assured me that it would be alright and that he'd get me filled up "some time this morning".
Some time this morning!!!! Are Audi drivers so short of friends that a morning sitting on a hilarious chair drinking free coffee being served platitudes by reception takes the place of a life??
And so I informed chappie that this would not do and could I simply not just purchase the stuff and bung it in myself.
This suggestion was greeted with a look that suggested I'd proposed slashing the tyres on the brand new R8 in the showroom and he sighed and went off to get another chappie.
I was told to go and sit in reception!
To be frank I was just a tad more grumpy when the "other chappie" turn up, who also instructed me to sit, again I refused, and we set about our business.
He informed me that I needed two ten litre containers of stuff and a "tool".
He then had a stab a lecturing my about Ad Blue and why Audi were great and I was the plank.
I didn't quite see it his way and told him so.
He gave me my stuff and the tool, I paid him and he cleared off.
Have you ever carried a ten litre bottle of Ad Blue, quite heavy, and I had two plus the tool! Was any help offered? No!
I then got home to discover getting Ad Blue into an Audi A4 Black Edition is akin to getting toothpaste back into the tube.
Just getting the filler cap off, which appears to have been shoved in next to the fuel cap at an angle suggesting people who take it off have very thin but hugely strong fingers, was a challenge.
Once off, I discovered that this fluid enters the car at a simply glacial pace, and only if I stand in the rain holding the container up high. This was a challenge for me and I am a beefy bloke, how little people do this is beyond me!
And so I have to ask, I have a new Audi that I am lumbered with for three years, is this really what Audi ownership is all about? If it is I can now see why Audi owners never indicate as they are too exhausted just owning the car in the first place.
I've experienced some shoddy service, I once had a Vauxhall so believe me I know how bad it can be, but this bunch take the biscuit.
I am not sharing this story for any other reason that to attempt to get the people at AM to acknowledge they can NOT do Ad Blue at the drop of a hat, you need to book the car in!
If they simply tell the truth, that would be great.
I admit I made a terrible error in choosing an Audi as I had no idea that I would lose one Saturday in every six either fighting with AM to do the job, or doing it myself, but it was my choice and I must stand by it.
Disappointed does not even begin to describe how I feel and I have to say that despite the car being very good indeed, I think the Audi experience is truly dreadful.
If AM reception need some training in telling the truth, and the back office people need some training in customer "service" I'll happily provide that free of charge so that other people do not have to suffer the kind of experience I did.
BTW, I am not a customer service expert, simply a 56 year old CIO who, if I provided the type of experience to my customers that you provide to me, would be sacked, and quite rightly, on the spot.
All the best.
Peter Martin
07786 443266
Upon getting through to Audi Maidstone (AM) I explained the situation and was told with a great deal of confidence "Don't you worry Mr Martin, pop in any time and we'll fill you up like a kipper". Rather stupidly I didn't question this fact and simply enquired as to opening times.
AM open at 8 by the way.
I could not make 8 as I was due to have my hairs cut that morning but did get there for roughly 08:45.
I introduced myself at reception and was told to take a seat and someone would be there to help me shortly.
BTW. To the designers of your seating, seats without backs are not funny, they may look cool but they are dreadful to sit on!
So I sat, and then I sat some more.
All the while the reception people were desperately offering me coffee or in fact any type of beverage I could think of.
This may come as a surprise to the people at Audi, but if I want a cup of coffee I go, typically, to a coffee shop such as Caffe Nero. In the same vein I would not consider taking my Audi to Caffe Nero for a service, though I suspect they'd do a better job.
Turning down "free" coffee would appear to be the equivalent of kicking a puppy to death to the AM people, they were truly astonished that poor service could not be fixed by a cup of coffee.
Eventually I was greeted by a beaming reception person who grandly announced that it was my turn to "be seen".
Needless to say, I was a tad grumpy by this stage as what I ought to have been doing was going to Bluewater with Mrs Martin and my daughter to choose and then buy an iCandy pram/pushchair combination in anticipation of the arrival of my first grandson.
What I was actually doing was getting the runaround from the AM people - the human equivalent of being in a phone queue where my call is important, but not so important that it actually gets answered.
So service chappie then instructs me to sit in front of him (I understand the psychology of this and will not fall for it, besides I've been sitting for an age in the hilarious chairs already) and I decline and stand stating very clearly that "there's no need to sit as all I need is some Ad Blue".
"Certainly sir" says chappie, "let's see when we can get you booked in!"
"Sorry?" I said, "Booked in? I was told by reception than this was a drive by and that you'd do it in the spot"
"Oh no", says chappie (with a knowing grin), "No, no no, we'll get you booked in in no time"
"Look mate" I said, "I'm not here to get booked in, I need to get filled up, pay up and then clear off, I simply don't have the time to waste"
Chappie then assured me that it would be alright and that he'd get me filled up "some time this morning".
Some time this morning!!!! Are Audi drivers so short of friends that a morning sitting on a hilarious chair drinking free coffee being served platitudes by reception takes the place of a life??
And so I informed chappie that this would not do and could I simply not just purchase the stuff and bung it in myself.
This suggestion was greeted with a look that suggested I'd proposed slashing the tyres on the brand new R8 in the showroom and he sighed and went off to get another chappie.
I was told to go and sit in reception!
To be frank I was just a tad more grumpy when the "other chappie" turn up, who also instructed me to sit, again I refused, and we set about our business.
He informed me that I needed two ten litre containers of stuff and a "tool".
He then had a stab a lecturing my about Ad Blue and why Audi were great and I was the plank.
I didn't quite see it his way and told him so.
He gave me my stuff and the tool, I paid him and he cleared off.
Have you ever carried a ten litre bottle of Ad Blue, quite heavy, and I had two plus the tool! Was any help offered? No!
I then got home to discover getting Ad Blue into an Audi A4 Black Edition is akin to getting toothpaste back into the tube.
Just getting the filler cap off, which appears to have been shoved in next to the fuel cap at an angle suggesting people who take it off have very thin but hugely strong fingers, was a challenge.
Once off, I discovered that this fluid enters the car at a simply glacial pace, and only if I stand in the rain holding the container up high. This was a challenge for me and I am a beefy bloke, how little people do this is beyond me!
And so I have to ask, I have a new Audi that I am lumbered with for three years, is this really what Audi ownership is all about? If it is I can now see why Audi owners never indicate as they are too exhausted just owning the car in the first place.
I've experienced some shoddy service, I once had a Vauxhall so believe me I know how bad it can be, but this bunch take the biscuit.
I am not sharing this story for any other reason that to attempt to get the people at AM to acknowledge they can NOT do Ad Blue at the drop of a hat, you need to book the car in!
If they simply tell the truth, that would be great.
I admit I made a terrible error in choosing an Audi as I had no idea that I would lose one Saturday in every six either fighting with AM to do the job, or doing it myself, but it was my choice and I must stand by it.
Disappointed does not even begin to describe how I feel and I have to say that despite the car being very good indeed, I think the Audi experience is truly dreadful.
If AM reception need some training in telling the truth, and the back office people need some training in customer "service" I'll happily provide that free of charge so that other people do not have to suffer the kind of experience I did.
BTW, I am not a customer service expert, simply a 56 year old CIO who, if I provided the type of experience to my customers that you provide to me, would be sacked, and quite rightly, on the spot.
All the best.
Peter Martin
07786 443266
