Look away if you are squeamish as yesterday I had my first ever procedure!
Having self administered an enema, which alarmingly came through the post with quite vague instructions, I went to the hospital for 10am appointment.
Needless to say I was 45 minutes early, but this worked in my favour as after I'd registered and had the whole routine explained to me, I was positioned on my side and the Doc got to work.
His initial assessment was that even though I'd done one enema, I was essentially full of shit. Not his exact words but I could see very clearly on the HD screen magnified 40 times what he meant.
And so he gave me another enema. Hospital applied enemas are much more effective I can say as I was very soon quite empty! Though in my confusion, on my way back from the lavatory I didn't realise that the two gown ploy they'd suggested, one each way to give easy access but to hide my gentleman's sausage, had gone wrong as I had both gowns on the same way.
Thus the sausage was hidden but the backside was there for all to see! Ho ho ho, how we chuckled as the foreign nurse tried to help me. Tiny NHS gowns do not a Peter fit and thus we had some sort of wrestling match as she tried to wrench the second gown off of me.
And so, empty, the Doc had a good look, and so did a room full of other medical staff and me. The tech is so cool that I could see by backside from both angles! They can turn the camera around inside of you!!!!
The rather spiffing news is that I do not have bowel cancer today.
All in all a bit of a caper and actually (should I admit this?) quite a lot of fun.
The NHS today come in for a lot of stick but I must say they treated me with dignity and a very high level of professionalism. And for the merkins out there, not a single coin of the realm was required for me for get this treatment.
And so he gave me another enema. Hospital applied enemas are much more effective I can say as I was very soon quite empty! Though in my confusion, on my way back from the lavatory I didn't realise that the two gown ploy they'd suggested, one each way to give easy access but to hide my gentleman's sausage, had gone wrong as I had both gowns on the same way.
Thus the sausage was hidden but the backside was there for all to see! Ho ho ho, how we chuckled as the foreign nurse tried to help me. Tiny NHS gowns do not a Peter fit and thus we had some sort of wrestling match as she tried to wrench the second gown off of me.
And so, empty, the Doc had a good look, and so did a room full of other medical staff and me. The tech is so cool that I could see by backside from both angles! They can turn the camera around inside of you!!!!
The rather spiffing news is that I do not have bowel cancer today.
All in all a bit of a caper and actually (should I admit this?) quite a lot of fun.
The NHS today come in for a lot of stick but I must say they treated me with dignity and a very high level of professionalism. And for the merkins out there, not a single coin of the realm was required for me for get this treatment.
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