Starbucks - you are going the same way as Tesco, be careful.

Starbucks in St Pancras.

Just had my usual punch up with the Starbucker and won, as is also always the case.

Peter: black coffee please, and in a real cup.

Starbucker: is that an Americano or a filter coffee?

Peter: I am indifferent to the daft names you call your coffee, so you choose.

Starbucker: well we only have Americano.

Me: in which case I'll have a black coffee please, medium and in a real cup.

Starbucker: I am sorry sir, we only have paper cups.

Peter: no you don't, look in the cupboards behind you, you have plenty of real cups. The fact that you want people to use paper cups to save on washing up is not my problem. 

Starbucker: I'll have to ask the manager. 

Peter: go ahead, he'll say yes. 

Starbucker then consults with manager who approves the use of a cup.

Starbucker then writes my order on the cardboard ring they put around the cup and hands it, with a China mug, to the coffee maker. CM did a double take as if she was trying to fathom how she was going to reconcile the cardboard ring with the China mug. She looked at me and asked what I wanted, medium black coffee was my reply. She set of to prepare said beverage. 

At this stage a lady appeared next to me, with lovely red hair by the way and this rather brilliant episode took place.

LWLRH: a normal tea please.

Starbucker: (said in the vein of an H E Bateman cartoon when someone passed the port incorrectly) A normal tea???

LWLRH: yes please, a normal tea, small please.

Starbucker: and nothing else? (almost shouted)

LWLRH: no thanks, just a normal small tea. 

Starbucker then shouted incredulously to the woman who prepares the drinks that a "Normal" tea was needed. The emphasis on the word normal was as if the LWLRH had asked to shag a donkey in reception.

WWPTD: a normal tea????? Also shouted.

Starbucker: yes!!!!

Of course needless to say I was laughing real tears at this stage and I asked LWLRH: is it always like this? to which she sighed and replied resignedly that "yes it is, I only want a tea but that fact always seems to upset them"

You see, it is not just me!