A new campaign - Think Car.

The Think Bike campaign and a recent horrible bike accident endured by a friend (a sane and sensible bike rider) have got me thinking.

We need a new campaign aimed at bike riders and it should be called Think Car.

As I see it there are three types of bike riders on our roads and they are:

1. The mid life crisis wankers, all of whom have stupidly powerful bikes and the most expensive gear money can buy. They generally offer no danger to society other than making other road users laugh so much we nearly crash our cars as these pudgy, middle aged (typically between 45 and 55) idiots potter about, red faced through the exhaustion brought on by squeezing into their leathers, looking quite silly.

2. The everyday bike riders, properly trained, well behaved and always willing to exploit the freedom bike offers but never at the expense of, or danger to, other road users. My friend fits into this category and he was roughly treated by a pillock in a car who clearly didn't think bike in any way.

3. The thugs. Typically to be found on very powerful bikes, they'll have tattoos, earrings and never the right protective gear - I've even seen one riding wearing flip-flops! These are the terrorists of the road as they weave in an out of traffic, gesticulating at anyone with enough check to get in their way. They are mindless cretins.

So, the think car campaign should treat the three categories above thus:

1. Laugh, a lot, these idiots really should grow up.

2. Think Bike for Christ’s sake. These are normal people and need to be respected and noticed.

3. Aim for these people and knock as many down and off the road as possible. They are a threat to society and at the very least should be castrated so that they can't reproduce.