we've only got rice!

Apart from everything else, that is!

So here is a transcript of my visit to the Sheffield canteen today:

Peter: Chili please.

Woman: We've only got rice.

Peter: Mmmm, just rice eh? Is there nothing I can have with it?

Woman: There's chili.

Peter: Sorry?

Woman: There's chili.

Peter: You said that you only have rice!

Woman: That's right.

Peter: But you also said that you have chili.

Peter: So I am confused, you have chili AND rice?

Woman: Yes.

Peter: So why did you say you only have rice?

Woman: Because we don't have potato! (This was almost shouted in an exasperated way, as if to imply that I was the cretin!).

Peter: Right, did it not occur to you to say instead "We have no potato"?

Woman: No, what do you want?

Peter: Chili and rice please.

The Hillingdon Cretins. 20/5/10

Following on from my earlier blog about the new tress and surrounding chipped bark in Uxbridge, the Hillingdon Borough Council cretins have fixed the issue.

The base of each live three is now covered with a layer of small stones, all glued down.

What a shite society we live in when the only way stones can stay in place is it they are attached!

Also, and I may be missing a trick here, the whole earth area of each tree is now cover totally with glue and stones. Methinks the trees may suffer from water deprivation during the summer!

One final thought, when the great-unwashed puke onto the glued down stones, it's going to look wonderful and will be very hard to clean. Something to look forward in the balmy summer mornings in Uxbridge!

Watch this space and I will keep you posted.