Another Costa story!

Not sure if I should laugh or cry, but the dimwitted antipodean lawyer who generally gets my coffee all wrong, has now turned her not inconsiderable levels of gross stupidity to burning my cheese and ham toastie!

Today, in an effort to be helpful she took my toastie from me before I was even served and placed inside the grilling machine.

She then served the two people in front of me, half way through serving the second, the machine timer went off.

What do you think she did eh? That's right, carried on serving the other person, came to me and beamed "double espresso right?" looking very pleased with herself.

"Yes" I said, "plus a water and my toastie, though by now it's going to be a lot more than toasted!"

"You want something to eat?" she said.

"Well yes, but you've already taken it from me!!"

At this stage she did the old "slapped in the face with a cod" look and started to look terrified.

Me: "Look, you took my toastie from me, put it in the machine, and for two minutes now the alarm has been going off"

"Oh", she beamed, "I'll get it for you". Which she did. Of course, the bottom slice of toast was burnt to a cinder so I had to hand it back.

Either she was going for a massive piss-take, or she really ought not to be let out alone, because she then asked if I'd like it heated up some more.

"No" I said, "You've burnt that one, I'll get another"

All of this took in the region of five minutes, during which a small line of people gathered, all no doubt wondering why the git up the front couldn't just get on with it, drink cold coffee and eat a burnt toastie.

I am the git at the front and I refuse to put up with these people. I shall never desert Costa as I like their coffee, I shall merely make it my life's work to correct their slapdash ways.