It's a game of two halves and the lads done great.

In fact it's a game of halves, the two is unnecessary and therefore shall not be used. The lads, which is how grown men also known as Nancy boys fall-over merchants are known, did far from great. In fact they were horribly useless.

Now I have a view on this matter, and as you'd expect, I am going to share it with you.

The recent England World Cup match started with the most of us making two rather flawed assumptions:

1. That England as a team are any good and;

2. That the US as a team are crap.

Just because we have the best league in the world, does not mean we either have the best players, or in fact the best national team. We have neither.

Just because the US is so disinterested in football that most of them are unaware that their team in in the World Cup does not mean that they do not have a good team. Their players are at best average, but they give a shit. Whereas our players do not.

Young Shrek for instance. He is a multi-millionaire yet he can barely string two sentences together; he is so illiterate he can't even sing the National Anthem, that's even if he wanted to. He earns £150k per week! Now, don't get me wrong, in a world of supply and demand, he gets exactly what he can and good for him. Does he and his fellow band of over paid nancy boys give a shit about England, no of course they don't.

Then you come to the rather hilarious aspect of seeing Johnny Italian shouting his guts out at them trying to get them to remember what he told them 45 minutes ago. They are like goldfish mate, they remember nothing other than their bank balance and the colour of their new Bentley. Besides, shouting at Shrek and his mates in Italian (when they can barely manage English) whilst being drowned out by 60,000 vuvuzelas, is going to fail. So Johnny Italian, sit down, relax and use the time England will now spend getting dumped out of the world cup calculating your multi million pound pay-off from the FA.

Finally, is it only me who enjoys the sight of David Beckham, that well known fashion icon, sitting there dressed head to toe in Marks and Spencer polyester! Wonderful, he looks like a kid at a wedding who has been told to wear his best suit by his Mum but hates every minute of it!