Saturday, 5 April 2014

Opening times and the johnnies.

Roughly once a week I go to Caffe Nero in Rickmansworth for a meeting.


The meeting with my friend Simon usually starts at 07:00


Caffe Nero is supposed to open at 06:45, according to their website and the stuff on their front door.


Caffe Nero NEVER opens on time or early, but always late.


So here is how I imagine the interview process goes for these totally useless numpties:

Interview process to work in Caffe Nero in Rickmansworth:

Q: When the advertised opening time is 06:45, what time should you open? 
A: 06:50

Q: Should you apologise for keeping the gentleman standing in the freezing cold whilst you fucked about indoors? 
A: Never!

Q: Are you Eastern European? 
A: Yes.

Q: Is your accent so thick that only your fellow eastern europeans can understand you? 
A: Yes.

Q: Are you a completely fucking useless waste of oxygen? 
A: Yes!!!!

You have the job.

Caffe Nero, you make good coffee but you have some of the most stupid people working for you.

Do some training and then follow it up with some management.


Or, and this could work, change the official opening time of your Rickmansworth store to 06:51

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