Q: When is a watch not a watch? A: When it's a Breitling.

In a world full of silly ways to waste money, having a "proper" watch is one of them.

I am that fool who has been oft described as being easily parted from his money.

As such, in the past I have had Rolex, IWC (best watch I ever had), TAG, Breitling, Oris and Cartier. There are probably some lesser names and in the case of Rolex, it is Rolexes (if that is the plural of Rolex).

Never I must point out, have I been so crass as to own any of these watches in anything other than stainless steel or white gold. I did know a chap once who had a rose gold Rolex, which he wore in the style of just the type of person who'd buy such a thing, loosely at the very end of his wrist so that it was always in view. He may as well have the word WANKER printed on his forehead.

So my latest watch (I tend to only own one at a time and always buy new and sell or pass on the unused watch) is a Breitling, specifically a Superocean Heritage 38 with stainless steel bracelet - code 37320.

It looks very nice and being a 38mm case, sits nicely on my wrist. Frankly I deplore the trend to make watches bigger and bigger (IWC please note: Until you reduce the Portofino to the original size, I will not buy another however much I want one).

So last summer I decided the Breitling needed a service, so I took it into the jeweller from which I purchased it, Goldsmiths (who in this story are totally blameless) and they sent it off for a service and refurbishment. Total cost of this exercise was £550, which given the watch only cost £2200 in the first place, did strike me as a bit steep, but as I said before, a fool and his money!!!

FOUR MONTHS later, yes, that is right, four bloody months, the watch came back, and due to the refurbishment, I must admit it looked like brand new.

However within less than two months, it was gaining a minute a day!

So back to Goldsmiths, still blameless, who took it into their care and promised to send it to Breitling.

Having at this point sold my second watch (a rather splendid Rolex), I now had no watch so had to buy a Citizen for £300 just so I could tell the time.

It took Breitling another 11 weeks to fix the watch.

So, my Breitling that cost originally in the region of £2200 has thus far cost me another £800 and has been out of my possession for nearly seven months out of the last 10!!!

This sort of crap service has severely dented my faith in both the watch and the brand, and were it not for IWC being silly and making the Portofino too bloody big, I'd be cashing in the Breitling this week.

As it is, a Cartier Balon Bleu is looking promising.

Either way, Breitling have tarnished their reputation with me. To indicate just how much, I now check the time of my multiple thousand pound Breitling against the time of my £300 Citizen every morning.

And that is the answer to the question posed above.